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Welcome to Club Lesbo. The grinning head of Satan (stuffed and mounted) hangs on the wall. It talks to us in a perfect Boris Karloff impersonation. "I will hang here and enjoy the eee-vil played out before me by those poor human puppets." He utters a warning: "What goes on here is weird."

He’s talking about lust, that burning passion that consumes men’s souls, but he could just as well be referring to the delightfully goofy films of WHIT BOYD. Boyd was a Texas filmmaker responsible for gunk like Hot Blooded Woman, Eat, Drink and Make Merrie, and Dracula (the dirty old man). We’re talking grade-Z nookie bookended by insane plots and dialogue that would make Ed Wood groan.

Spiked Heels and Black Nylons is no exception. Club Lesbo is a whorehouse ruled by a vicious dyke named Reba. Reba and her girls satisfy the needs of men but hunger for the love only one woman can give another. Myrna is Reba’s "prize alleycat" and is off limits to everyone. "The next hophead who touches her, I’ll kill!" she snarls. The women are kept in line by a gorilla named Abel (BILL THURMAN) who has hooked the hookers on heroin.

Into this mess enters Gina, an innocent housewife whose breasts are "firm and round." Gina is married to Glen, a detective on the police force. Reba drugs Gina and films Abel having sex with her. She blackmails the housewife into joining Club Lesbo. Meanwhile, the Devil chats away, offering commentary like a baseball announcer calling a big game.

At the club, comedian "Crash Daily" jumps onstage and performs. He is dressed like a pilot and does nothing but airline jokes that are so bad, I had to rewind to prove to myself I actually heard them. Then (in what looks like an outtake from Reefer Madness) a hooker smokes a joint, starts twitching, and does a wonderfully spastic Bump and Grind routine.

After Reba and Myrna have a catfight, Glen shows up for a bust. He finds Gina getting plowed by Abel. Stunned, Glen gets pummeled by the big ox until Gina picks up a pistol and fills him with lead. Her shame too much to bear, Gina then calmly shoots herself in the head! "The fire of evil will not be extinguished. Ha! Ha! Ha!" gloats the Devil.

Less a film than a public service announcement. The whole cast look like the sort of people you’d see on Cops being shoved into a police car. "Filmed in voluptuous color!" the credits brag. Leg lovers will be pitching a tent over endless shots of garter belts, lingerie, and women removing their nylons. If you’re a devotee of these thrills then, in the words of Satan, you’re facing certain damnation. See you in Hell...

From the 35mm sluts-and-stockings negative. -- Mike Accomando, Dreadful Pleasures

SKU: 3885
Format: DVD-R
Year: 1967
Color: B&W
Starring: Cherry Jones
Co-starring: Bill Thurman
Other cast: Shirley Boyd , Ron Scott
Directed by: Whit Boyd

Spiked Heels and Black Nylons (Adults Only)

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