Let’s face facts. When you die, you’re undoubtedly going to Hell. Sorry, that’s just the way it is. Unless, of course, you turn your life around right this very minute. And what better way to start than by watching Volume 7 of our Christian Scare Film series. Then, hallelujah, you’ll be Heaven bound!
Just a Stranger (color): A creepy Evangelical Horror Film. Some kids are telling Ma and Pa about their Sunday school teacher, who said that all non-Christians are going to Hell. Yes, that’s right, Hell. At first Pa thinks this teacher might be a bit over zealous, but the more he hears the voices in his head, the more he believes the teacher just may be right. And then there’s Mr. Harrison, the quiet man that’s staying with the family. Is he a Christian? Is he going to Hell too? The kids keep harping on Pa to find out, but Pa keeps putting it off until... Well, we won’t spoil the exciting and twisted ending to this dark little opus here. Scary says: "Turn out the lights, light up a stick, and prepare for scare!"
Winsome Witness (b&w): Terry shoots himself in the head with Ray’s loaded gun. And then he dies. And then Christian Guilt runs amok as Ray flips out and his friend, Sue, tries to reel him back in. Will she succeed? This one also features a great scene where Sue plays some soft jazz records and her father reacts as if it’s heavy metal. Scary says: "For those about to rock, we salute you!"
Tokens of Love (b&w): A Christian family that talk like tranquilized Darth Vaders enjoy a meal together. If you don’t die of laughter watching them, the goofy story that follows will kill you. It’s Valentine’s Day and the family is pleased as punch. Christian Joe and his Christian sisters hide paper hearts all through the house while Christian Mom and Dad grin and make us laugh even harder with their creepy Satanic voices... Scary says, "So funny, it hurts!"
Our Children: A Bigger Reward (color): A big, fat, decidedly non-Christian raccoon breaks into a house and little Carl decides to keep it. (He even names it Rac. Carl is so clever.) But Rac is a naughty ’coon and after making a mess, he eats the family’s pet fish! Soon, however, Rac’s owner shows up offering a reward for his return. Carl suddenly gets real greedy and expects a Big Reward. Instead, he gets a good ol’ Christian lecture on "the bigger reward". All of which concludes with Carl’s mother directly addressing the audience about Christian Values. Scary says: "Raccoons and Christians: Who would have thought?"
Painful Confession (color): Bill’s friend, Steve, hits someone with his motor bike. As police sirens wail by, the two guys hide in a garage and argue about whether or not they should tell anyone. They decide not to. But, uh oh, as soon as Christian Guilt starts to kick in, Steve loses his grip. Thankfully, his Christian Dad’s bible readings knock him into shape and he confesses -- painfully. Scary says: "Hit-and-run Christian scare tactics!"
-- Scary Ed
Year: 1950s 1960s
Color: Color and B&W