"Don’t you ever chip?" Yup, that’s what he calls it. "Chipping." It’s also the pressing moral dilemma faced by office co-workers Paul Devlin and Tom Chandler, two very horny bastards married to drop-dead gorgeous women who just won’t put out for them anymore. Paul — a bit of a bullshit artist — easily convinces Tom — something of a straight arrow with a dull tip — that "banging out a strange piece of ass" is the best thing for a faltering marriage. Furthermore, "the stuff they get on the outside" will more than make up for the stuff they’re not getting at home. But what our boys don’t know is that, behind their backs, their pretty little wives have been on their backs providing a strange piece of ass for countless strangers on a daily basis.
Let the games begin!
Yes, totally bored with their husbands in bed, horny Hollywood-Hills housewives Linda Devlin and Pat Chandler have become Matinee Wives. For some time now, they’ve been turning "matinee tricks" (screw-speak for daytime dalliances) with the horny hubbies of other frigid suburban housewives — all part of a community service organized and arranged — for a small fee — by housewife-turned-madam Kay Gavin (CHRISTINE MURRAY of Trader Hornee), a supersexed entrepreneurial vixen who likes to "curl up with a warm vibrator" each morning to jump-start her day. Go Kay!
So, of course, when Paul and Tom make plans for some "outside stud," who do you suppose they call? That’s right: the vibrant Madam Kay herself! And who do you suppose she sets them up with? Right again: each other’s wives! But the kicker is: no one knows this, neither the husbands nor the wives, as they’re all chipping under false names and no one has met the other’s spouse before! So all four are swapping partners and no one’s the wiser. Neat, no?
In the role of Pat Chandler, the tall sinewy foreign-sounding blonde billed only as ALLESSANORA is hot stuff. She’s electric-blue velvet in the raw, and shoots sparks when she spreads her legs! She’s no slouch at acting either, if this should matter to you.
But the prize in the Cracker Jack box here is BARBARA MILLS (billed here under her alternate moniker, "Barbara Caron") — the dark-haired, fair-eyed dimpled darting of The Love Garden and other such sexploitation sinema from the Seventies. No starlet who bared all for the prurient arts back then was prettier or sexier! She plays Linda Devlin with such sensuous aplomb that when she announces, "I want to do everything," we know she means it!
With some wry cross-cutting between their hot and heavy couplings, Matinee Wives abounds in verbal and visual puns, while super-abounding in writhing naked flesh. And to top it all off, there’s one very cool and clever and rather unexpected ending in store for you.
Matinee Wives. They’ll make your day.
From a 35mm happily-married print.
— Don the Deviate. Ph.D.
Starring: Barbara Mills
Co-starring: Stephen Treadwell
Other cast: Alessanora, Robert Cole
Directed by: Kendall Stewart